Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
"it" just moved
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
