I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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