i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize