It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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