Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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