your thong is hanging out like whoa
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize