i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize