How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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