wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize