Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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