Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
