He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
