wake up i wanna do it froggy style
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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