You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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