and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
