What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
