I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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