and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
