sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
