I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
