OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
