Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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