If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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