I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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