just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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