dude i'm inner monologue high
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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