Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
babies were throwing up all over the place
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
