How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The beer is more important than you right now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
