if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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