he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
