Its about making memories worth repressing
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drake has all the answers
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
