I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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