we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
