Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
