I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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