is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
