Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize