I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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