YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
