Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
