I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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