my sisters under your porch take her home
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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