Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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