i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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