OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i would punch a child for taco bell
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
