North Korea, Best Korea!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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