so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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