dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
