Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
two words: eviction party
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
