We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
