the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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