i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
