Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize