This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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