dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
