i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
