Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
