Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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