who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
