i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
