he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
