Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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