I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Girls should come with a carfax report
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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