so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize