i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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