My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
